"sigh"

Seeing and feeling this thing, hating every minute of it. Sigh. Is it? I ask myself. How can I be so sure. As I talked to the noun of this emotion, I realized what I was telling him what I was willing to do for this noun. Grrrrr, why? Why again? Why am I letting myself just be moved by his words, his emotions (which make me smile), his made up not so made up expressions. Grrr is all I can say, don't want this at all don't want to move ahead, but guess this time I will try to be prepared. Will wait as long as I can for it not to be the greatest fear of my life, a depression, a heart broken again, a weight loss so magnificent in every way possible that all which may happen is my vanishing. Nothing more left to lose at this time.

My smiles which he provokes, the frowns which he (i hope) does not mean to put on my face, this feeling of having someone as a friend which I can trust and have trusted for a long time. Thanks for the laughs. Thanks for being there. Thanks for helping me out.